I miss those days when I would go to sleep looking at her messages. The days when she would actually say I love you before I fell asleep…when every single day and morning was all good. I miss hearing the songs and telling her how i feel when i hear the songs. I guess that’s all gone now. I miss the sincere conversations that i had with her. Not just one word replies that I have to try to keep a conversation going on with. I miss her actually being into the things i said and not just telling me things to just get on with it. I miss replies. Not things that are obvious. I miss the inputs of her thoughts, not just something to get by. When did that end? Sometimes i wonder if she even trys…although she already said she wouldn’t fight for me. Its amazing how someone would want to be with you…yet they wont lift a finger for you. Why is it that im giving my 100% and all im getting back is nothing. She wants me to try to figure out whats wrong when she just goes to sleep saying bye or night. So i try that and she makes me feel stupid because i act weird when its nothing but how am i suppose to know any of this when she doesnt let me know whats going on:/. Why do i go through all this pain and fighting… I do everything i can for her and she won’t do the same…Why do i fight for someone who doesn’t even seem like they care…Idk anymore…The only thing that keeps me going is how I truly love her…but i dont know if she can say the same about me…why should i keep trying? Idk…I hope one day i can find her love once again…until then I’m just someone in the unknown outcome of a relationship that im afraid is going down hill but my love is still pure…I don’t understand what to do…I guess its just me.
There comes a point where you miss someone so much that you can hear their voice echo in your head. And you can hear the names that they used to call you, the words they used to tell you. You memorized their laugh, their smile, & their silly ways. You can also feel their arms around you & you don’t want to let go even though you know it’s just an illusion. Every time your phone rings, you smile because it’s them that’s calling. Every time you hear their name, your heart beats 100 times faster and sometimes, you can’t even breathe. You knew that looking back on the tears would make you laugh, but you never knew that looking back on the laughs would also make you cry. All you want is to go back in time. Not to the time that you first met, to the time that you were known as nothing, but strangers. But no matter what, you’re in denial. You hide your feeling so no one would know. You put on a fake smile and don’t let a single tear break through. You’re so used to hiding your feelings that you don’t even realize the pain you’re causing for yourself. "